10 Funniest Superhero Musicals You Didn't Know About

With plans under way for a "Spider-Man" musical on Broadway (a blatant attempt to make Spider-Man a little bit gayer,) we've compiled a list of big screen superheroes that tried to make the transition to stage musicals and failed. So here are the 10 Funniest Super Hero Musicals You Didn't Know About.


10. "Wolverine: It Hurts To Masturbate"
This was a romantic musical about The X-Men's Wolverine and the pain of masturbating with claws. It was a social commentary on sex in America and jerk-off claws.


9. "Hulk: The AIDS Years"

A controversial rock opera in the '80s that told the story of an impoverished Hulk struggling to survive under the shadow of AIDS. Hulk, after getting AIDS through intravenous drug use, deals with his disease while belting out songs such as "Hulk Not Feel So Good" and "Hulk Mad About Sores on Back."

8. "Ghost Rider: Third Degree Burns"

You already know the story of stunt motorcyclist Johnny Blaze who agreed to give his soul to Satan. Utilizing his powers, Blaze's flesh is consumed by hellfire, causing his head to become a flaming skull. In the musical, his powers wear off but the flames don't, and Blaze has to be treated at the Los Angeles Burn Institute. It's "Ghost Rider" meets "The English Patient" with inspiring music and songs. However, Blaze dies from an infection due to an unsuccessful skin graft.

7. "Batman & Robin: Riding Up and Down the Bat Pole"

"Why Don't They Just F*ck Each Other Already." That was the title for the big musical number in this short-lived off-Broadway production. Lyrics were written by Elton John. Nathan Lane played the Joker and he was absolutely fabulous! This was the gayest Batman production since Joel Schumacher's "Batman & Robin."

6. "Captain America: Outsourced To India"
Captain America inspired generations of patriotic youths with his shield-slinging, patriotic heroism. But this intelligent musical explored Captain America's world as his crime-fighting job is outsourced to Captain India. When his services are no longer needed, a bitter and very confused Captain America ends up going on a shooting rampage at an Indian casino in California.

5. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Hospice Hell"
All those years of living in the sewers of Manhattan have taken their toll, and now the Turtles are all living in a hospice. Instead of battling villains, the Turtles now battle terminal illnesses. The musical was not a big hit with kids.

4. "Optimus SubPrime"
The musical came out last year as the mortgage industry went into full meltdown. It focuses on Optimus Prime, the leader of the heroic Autobots, who takes out a subprime mortgage and then is faced with foreclosure when he can't make the monthly payments. Songs in the musical included "This Was Way Too Much House For Me" and "I Blame Those Damb Decepticons From Century 21."

3. "Iron Man: That Whore Stole My Suit"
The musical focuses on the life of master engineer Tony Stark who falls in love with a hooker but is betrayed when the prostitute ties him up in bed and steels his powered exoskeleton suit.

2. "Blade: I Can't Flag Down a Cab"
A half-vampire, half-mortal Black man becomes a protector of the mortal race, while slaying evil vampires, but can't get a cab ride in New York City.

1. "Wonder Woman : Her Abortion"

Tackling the controversial issue of abortion, this stage musical used Wonder Woman to illustrate the tough decisions facing women including female super heroes. The musical featured such songs as "I Got Raped By Hawk Man and Now I'm Pregnant" and "Late Term, Schmate Term."